Sometimes I just feel like no one is on my side. that Im doing this all my own. I get sick when I get this way, depressed. dont feel like writting, cause I want to keep everything inside-so I dont make myself sick.

I cant wait to get back up north. i truely am torn, knowing that theres snow up there, but theres also friends and peace. a peace i havent known i some time now. i wish i had never left.

&Please, dont take the girl

another song thats been hitting me pretty hard lately, Im not sure why.

Don't Take The Girl
(Craig Martin/Larry W. Johnson)
Johnny's daddy was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old
A little girl came through the front gate holdin' a fishing pole
His dad looked down and smiled, said we can't leave her behind
Son I know you don't want her to go but someday you'll change your mind
And Johnny said "Take Jimmy Johnson, take Tommy Thompson, take my best friend Bo
Take anybody that you want as long as she don't go
Take any boy in the world
Daddy please don't take the girl
Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Ten years down the road
He held her tight and kissed her lips
In front of the picture show
Stranger came and pulled a gun
Grabbed her by the arm said "If you do what I tell you to, there won't be any harm"
And Johnny said "Take my money, take my wallet, take my credit cards
Here's the watch that my grandpa gave me
Here's the key to my car
Mister give it a whirl
But please don't take the girl
Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's going to be a little one and she says it's time to go
Doctor says the baby's fine but you'll have to leave
'Cause his momma's fading fast and Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl
Johnny's daddy
Was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old

you know what i realized last night, in all the years Ive known Andy and weve dated-not once have we ever spent my birthday together. not once.

&midas.

Midas freak out.
so, today as im trying to find a ride to work, and talking to andy on the phone, midas is trying to get fisher to play with him-and ends up getting bit. he was yelping and crying as im trying to see how badly hes hurt, well, turns out one of the two dogs took a chunk out of midas' leg. im crying, hes bleeding-andys trying to calm me down. but nothing worked. i called the emergency vet and it would have been 85 bucks just for the visit,what the fuck. and they dont do payment plans, so here iam crying almost making myself sick and ugh. i called out of work, no way im leaving my baby like that! I love my dog.